We had to make the decision to cancel our camping trip yesterday. Idaho is pretty much on fire, and we didn't want to get up there and then find ourselves being evacuated and losing all our camping gear and all that mess. Just being down here in the basin, the smoke is getting so bad the boys' asthma is acting up and everyone's allergies are getting out of control. All my kids have puffy purple bags under their eyes, my eyes feel like there's sandpaper in them. If we went up to the campground where we had a reservation, we'd be surrounded by smoke and fires.
We're going to camp in our backyard instead. I think that will be fun. It will be hot since we keep getting in the triple digits here, but we can still go to the lake which is only up the road about two miles from our house. And if we decide we want our own beds, they're right there! :-)
Be careful all you who decide to brave the mountains right now. Those fires can move fast, and they say new ones keep popping up which is making it impossible to get them under control.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
So Many Cliches Work Here...
Uh, everything happens for a reason, God works in mysterious ways, when one door closes another opens...you name it.
So Kristy is gone. She and Cindy got back from camp Friday night and Kristy was picked up an hour later. Nothing I said or did could change it, and believe me, I tried. And then, oddly enough, something totally unrelated and opposite happened.
My two-year has four siblings. Two live in this area, and two live in another state. We've never met any of them. We were told the two here were in a placement with a family who intended to adopt. Those two had never really met my boy. It was actually kind of strange that there was never an effort to put these kids in contact to make connections. But their case worker was at our house last week for a monthly home visit, and she had a question for me. She said the girls' foster parents had decided not to adopt the girls, and they needed a new placement for them. She asked if we would consider taking them. We asked if we could meet them first. Well, actually my first gut reaction which I blurted out was "YES". But then I asked if we could meet them. So the girls are going camping with us this week.
They came over on Saturday for a preliminary meeting, and they are SO cute!! The younger one looks just like her brother!! I think I fell in love right off the bat. And the family they've been living with these last three years are so nice. I kind of got excited. We haven't told any of the kids. Right now, they know the girls are coming camping, but they think it's a respite thing. I thought, and the other family thought, that if this works out, we'd spend the next few weeks transitioning them to our home, but H&W isn't thinking that at all. If this works out, they are moving in like next week! Holy cow! And this will be permanent. Adoption.
Here's the numbers: I have three grown adopted daughters. I have one 8 year old adopted daughter and one 3 year old adopted son. The process is beginning for my adoption of Cindy, age 11. I will be adopting my 2 year old boy. And now I will be adding five and six year old sisters to the brood. That makes nine. 7 girls and 2 boys. Good grief. My favorite show when I was younger was Eight is Enough, and it's kind of the same because one of my three oldest isn't actually legally adopted, though in my heart she's mine. So I'll have adopted 8. But on the show there were 3 boys instead of two, but oh well. At least they won't have the same names.
What were their names? Tommy, David, Nicholas, Susan, Joanie, Elizabeth, Mary, and what was the last one? This will bother me all day. Let me know if you know.
Thanks for reading.
So Kristy is gone. She and Cindy got back from camp Friday night and Kristy was picked up an hour later. Nothing I said or did could change it, and believe me, I tried. And then, oddly enough, something totally unrelated and opposite happened.
My two-year has four siblings. Two live in this area, and two live in another state. We've never met any of them. We were told the two here were in a placement with a family who intended to adopt. Those two had never really met my boy. It was actually kind of strange that there was never an effort to put these kids in contact to make connections. But their case worker was at our house last week for a monthly home visit, and she had a question for me. She said the girls' foster parents had decided not to adopt the girls, and they needed a new placement for them. She asked if we would consider taking them. We asked if we could meet them first. Well, actually my first gut reaction which I blurted out was "YES". But then I asked if we could meet them. So the girls are going camping with us this week.
They came over on Saturday for a preliminary meeting, and they are SO cute!! The younger one looks just like her brother!! I think I fell in love right off the bat. And the family they've been living with these last three years are so nice. I kind of got excited. We haven't told any of the kids. Right now, they know the girls are coming camping, but they think it's a respite thing. I thought, and the other family thought, that if this works out, we'd spend the next few weeks transitioning them to our home, but H&W isn't thinking that at all. If this works out, they are moving in like next week! Holy cow! And this will be permanent. Adoption.
Here's the numbers: I have three grown adopted daughters. I have one 8 year old adopted daughter and one 3 year old adopted son. The process is beginning for my adoption of Cindy, age 11. I will be adopting my 2 year old boy. And now I will be adding five and six year old sisters to the brood. That makes nine. 7 girls and 2 boys. Good grief. My favorite show when I was younger was Eight is Enough, and it's kind of the same because one of my three oldest isn't actually legally adopted, though in my heart she's mine. So I'll have adopted 8. But on the show there were 3 boys instead of two, but oh well. At least they won't have the same names.
What were their names? Tommy, David, Nicholas, Susan, Joanie, Elizabeth, Mary, and what was the last one? This will bother me all day. Let me know if you know.
Thanks for reading.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Sad Update...
This just in..........
I want to cry. Granny just called me. H&W called and they are moving Kristy, tonight. We don't get time to say goodbye or help her understand why and that we aren't rejecting her. It's a sad day at the Angel Retreat. I have love in my heart, but tears on my face.
I want to cry. Granny just called me. H&W called and they are moving Kristy, tonight. We don't get time to say goodbye or help her understand why and that we aren't rejecting her. It's a sad day at the Angel Retreat. I have love in my heart, but tears on my face.
Feeling Perplexed
I've told you a bit about Kristy. She's a challenge, to say the least. And she's smart, which actually makes her more challenging than others we've had. Her behaviors include sexual acting out with our other kiddos, vengeful defiance, manipulation including manipulating the others in order to get them in trouble, stealing, triangulation, and, my favorite, playing the chronic victim. If she were an adult, I'd simply not associate myself with her. But she isn't an adult, she's a 10 year old girl who is hurting and scared, and is only behaving the way she's been taught to behave for all but the last 5 months of her life. How can you fault her for that?
I'm perplexed because there's something about her that makes me not want to give up on her. In this case, I think it's going to benefit her that I used to have a house full of teenagers. When Kristy came to me in February, she'd been in care only 2 weeks, and had already been moved 5 times. Her behavior and the behavior of her 3 siblings were the direct cause of their movement. But after having teens who'd spent most of their young lives moving from home to home, mostly because of their own behavior, and knowing how those moves contributed negatively to their adult personalities and behavior, I can't be in on a decision to move Kristy again. I feel it would only do her more harm than good. This little girl is lost in the wind, and needs some stability. I don't think I can change her, but I think I can help stop the progression of her negative behavior. At least I hope I can. And I truly believe the biggest way I can help with that is to hold on to her and show her someone is willing to keep trying.
I'm also perplexed because I don't know what kind of permanent damage may be done to the others in our house by keeping her. Can we turn her around before losing the others? And even if she was moved from our home, wouldn't we only get another girl who would or could cause the same problems? That seems to be the trend. Children keep being moved from homes for the sake of the other children in the home, only to be replaced with more children who cause the same problems. When do we stop moving them and start helping them? By knowing what's happening, and why, we can use this to make our other children stronger and more tolerant of diversity. We can teach them that we are all in this together, and people need other people to help out in order for all of us to reach the finish line. I want my children to learn to be caring and nurturing, understanding individuals. How can I do that if I have children removed from our home because their problems were inconvenient or a challenge to us?
I'm perplexed because I am feeling H&W is going to conclude they need to move this child and we will have no say in this matter. They will do it without our consent, or our asking. They will do it even though we want to do what we can to help this child. And I have to say, this is unusual, they really don't move children like this all that often like they used to. I'm really not sure why they are talking like they are going to do it here whether we want it or not.
More and more I have love in my heart and a smile on my face for Kristy even though she does something everyday to get to me. The more she does it, the more I want to make this work for her. She needs positive energy, think of her and think good thoughts for her. It could help!!
Thank you for reading, have a great weekend!!
I'm perplexed because there's something about her that makes me not want to give up on her. In this case, I think it's going to benefit her that I used to have a house full of teenagers. When Kristy came to me in February, she'd been in care only 2 weeks, and had already been moved 5 times. Her behavior and the behavior of her 3 siblings were the direct cause of their movement. But after having teens who'd spent most of their young lives moving from home to home, mostly because of their own behavior, and knowing how those moves contributed negatively to their adult personalities and behavior, I can't be in on a decision to move Kristy again. I feel it would only do her more harm than good. This little girl is lost in the wind, and needs some stability. I don't think I can change her, but I think I can help stop the progression of her negative behavior. At least I hope I can. And I truly believe the biggest way I can help with that is to hold on to her and show her someone is willing to keep trying.
I'm also perplexed because I don't know what kind of permanent damage may be done to the others in our house by keeping her. Can we turn her around before losing the others? And even if she was moved from our home, wouldn't we only get another girl who would or could cause the same problems? That seems to be the trend. Children keep being moved from homes for the sake of the other children in the home, only to be replaced with more children who cause the same problems. When do we stop moving them and start helping them? By knowing what's happening, and why, we can use this to make our other children stronger and more tolerant of diversity. We can teach them that we are all in this together, and people need other people to help out in order for all of us to reach the finish line. I want my children to learn to be caring and nurturing, understanding individuals. How can I do that if I have children removed from our home because their problems were inconvenient or a challenge to us?
I'm perplexed because I am feeling H&W is going to conclude they need to move this child and we will have no say in this matter. They will do it without our consent, or our asking. They will do it even though we want to do what we can to help this child. And I have to say, this is unusual, they really don't move children like this all that often like they used to. I'm really not sure why they are talking like they are going to do it here whether we want it or not.
More and more I have love in my heart and a smile on my face for Kristy even though she does something everyday to get to me. The more she does it, the more I want to make this work for her. She needs positive energy, think of her and think good thoughts for her. It could help!!
Thank you for reading, have a great weekend!!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
One Sugar or Two?
Sugar is a big issue in our house. Back when we had all teenagers, we mostly just discouraged it. Stacie's family would give her, literally, grocery bags full of candy at every visit. This to a girl who'd had to have 75% of her baby teeth pulled because they were rotted from all the candy she'd eaten. (I was going to insert a pic of tooth decay, but the pictures made me ill. If you want to see them click here.) Also, Granny had read an article about caffeine making you crave chocolate, and from that day forward, she banned it for the girls. This was hard at first because they were all so used to junk food and Mountain Dew. But they started getting used to drinking a lot of water, and were feeling better, and stopped griping about it. Of course, any time they were at group functions with Health and Welfare the social workers filled them with junk (a concept I never understood) and they got some at school where there are at least two vending machines on every wing of every floor in every high school.
Then we got Annie. I started doing a lot of research on fetal alcohol, and found that sugar was probably what was causing her chronic urinary tract infections, and that her body just wasn't able to break it down and process it which leads to behavior issues, so we took it out of her diet. (Among other things like food dyes and whole wheat, some dairy, and have lessened red meat.) Anyway, it's become a rule in the house. Sugar is out. Now all the kids are sugar free. But there's still conflict with new kids. But when you get kids like our 7 year old, who we had to take to the dentist and have 13 teeth removed because they were so rotted they smelled, it only makes sense to limit or eliminate entirely the sugar they were getting.
Kristy has had a real hard time with this, and is sure we've infringed on her civil rights by not allowing her to have sugar whenever she wants it. I've overheard her yelling in the bedroom about what witches we are and that she has a right to sugar. You know, at the ripe old age of 10 she's a real legal eagle!! How dare us try to take away her God-given right to sugar!!
The thing is, it isn't like they don't get treats. I try to bake something sugar-free with S
plenda once or twice a month. And we have a cookie jar full of sugar-free candy, and we let them drink diet soda once in a while, and we find sugar-free treats at Wal-Mart all the time! And honestly, from watching them devour whatever sugar-free treat we give them, they don't seem to mind the taste of Splenda. So what's the big deal? They aren't getting any fewer treats now than they would if we allowed them to have sugar, it's not like we'd keep the house stock-piled in cookies and candy and Mountain Dew!
plenda once or twice a month. And we have a cookie jar full of sugar-free candy, and we let them drink diet soda once in a while, and we find sugar-free treats at Wal-Mart all the time! And honestly, from watching them devour whatever sugar-free treat we give them, they don't seem to mind the taste of Splenda. So what's the big deal? They aren't getting any fewer treats now than they would if we allowed them to have sugar, it's not like we'd keep the house stock-piled in cookies and candy and Mountain Dew!What brought this up? I made oatmeal-cranberry cookies with sunflower seed last week, with Splenda, and Granny put them in their lunches today. On our way to day camp I got big thank you's from Annie and Cindy for the cookies and a "look" from Kristy. Sporting my new attitude, I smiled back and said, "I did it because I love all of you so much!" My new mantra to them is "with love in our hearts and a smile on our face." As in, we're about to go into church and every one's been fighting, and I say, "I'd like to have a nice family day today, so let's walk in to church with love in our hearts and a smile on our faces!" (I often say it as much for me as for them.) Anyway, my love you all comment melted a little of the ice and Kristy gave me a smile. So see, even though it's Splenda, it's still sweet!!
Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
How Many More Days Until School Starts?
Just kidding...not really. Summer can get boring, especially for foster kids who have to be supervised almost constantly. We try to come up with stuff for them to do, but it gets pretty exhausting. Last weekend we had three extra kids ages 7, 1 1/2, and 9 months. That pretty much cemented my desire to take down the crib and say no to anymore babies! :-)
Anyway, what do you do with 9 kids? You take them to the local street fair for
breakfast, duh! We were quite a sight!! We had free tickets for the kids to eat, so we loaded up three strollers (I asked my mom if she wanted the wheel chair, but she refused) and took off in two vans. On our way to the line to buy food tickets for Granny and myself, a very nice lady stopped us and handed us free tickets. So we didn't even have to pay for this day in the heat! (It was in the hundreds again.) The food line was fun. "OK everyone, hold your plate with BOTH hands, no don't let it tip, it will spill...ANNIE HOLD YOUR PLATE UP! Milk or juice? How do we carry that?" Another nice lady carried plates for us to a table on the other side of the parking lot. Breakfast was good. Then we toured all the booths. There were jumpy things for the kids to play in. Then there was an old school bus called the Magic Tumble Bus which was filled with gymnastics apparatus for the kids to play on. Then, of course, clowns twisting balloons (if they could keep them from popping long enough to make them look like something.) The poor clowns, As I watched them make 9 different balloon animals for my demanding children, about 20 of the balloons popped in their hands because of the heat before we were able to walk away with happy kiddos. They made picture frames, masks, got their faces painted...all for FREE!! How could we beat it?
breakfast, duh! We were quite a sight!! We had free tickets for the kids to eat, so we loaded up three strollers (I asked my mom if she wanted the wheel chair, but she refused) and took off in two vans. On our way to the line to buy food tickets for Granny and myself, a very nice lady stopped us and handed us free tickets. So we didn't even have to pay for this day in the heat! (It was in the hundreds again.) The food line was fun. "OK everyone, hold your plate with BOTH hands, no don't let it tip, it will spill...ANNIE HOLD YOUR PLATE UP! Milk or juice? How do we carry that?" Another nice lady carried plates for us to a table on the other side of the parking lot. Breakfast was good. Then we toured all the booths. There were jumpy things for the kids to play in. Then there was an old school bus called the Magic Tumble Bus which was filled with gymnastics apparatus for the kids to play on. Then, of course, clowns twisting balloons (if they could keep them from popping long enough to make them look like something.) The poor clowns, As I watched them make 9 different balloon animals for my demanding children, about 20 of the balloons popped in their hands because of the heat before we were able to walk away with happy kiddos. They made picture frames, masks, got their faces painted...all for FREE!! How could we beat it?When we got home exhausted, our foster parent friends showed up early to pick up their three children and lessen our load a bit. That night we had family movie night...ever seen "The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit"? They loved it, then went to bed.
Sunday morning we decided to skip church even though no child in the house allowed us to sleep in AT ALL! I went out to mow the lawn and we made the girls clean out all stuffable spots in their bedroom. Every shelf, nook, and cranny was seeping onto the floor with old school papers and other junk they've picked up along the way. The boys were in their room putting all the toys away. And for probably the first time ever, both bedrooms were clean when we left the house. We went to the YMCA to swim. Our Y has the best pool area ever!! It's great for kids of all ages 
including a kiddy play area like I've never seen before, a moving river, two huge slides, and diving area, lap pools. The kids absolutely love it. Granny brought a bag full of snacks to keep their energy up (like they have a problem doing that anyway with their self-recharging batteries), and I played in the kiddy area with the boys. We stayed there for several hours, then had everyone shower (aren't we smart instead of having them go home and use our water!) When we got home they were so tired, we popped in Wallace and Grommet, and made dinner, and let them eat in the living room (something we very rarely do unless it's football season.) Then everyone went to bed happy. I even got the adoption announcements ready to go. (I'm slow on that kind of stuff.) What didn't get done this weekend? Laundry, regular chores, painting, grocery shopping. But we had fun!!
including a kiddy play area like I've never seen before, a moving river, two huge slides, and diving area, lap pools. The kids absolutely love it. Granny brought a bag full of snacks to keep their energy up (like they have a problem doing that anyway with their self-recharging batteries), and I played in the kiddy area with the boys. We stayed there for several hours, then had everyone shower (aren't we smart instead of having them go home and use our water!) When we got home they were so tired, we popped in Wallace and Grommet, and made dinner, and let them eat in the living room (something we very rarely do unless it's football season.) Then everyone went to bed happy. I even got the adoption announcements ready to go. (I'm slow on that kind of stuff.) What didn't get done this weekend? Laundry, regular chores, painting, grocery shopping. But we had fun!!Thanks for reading!
Monday, July 09, 2007
Can You See it Now?
I worked on the button, and I can see it again, can you?
So I've had some trouble at home. Kristy is no longer allowed to be alone with Annie or Cindy in any room of the house, or outside playing. She says things to them that are horrible, and I don't know what exactly, just that I have to deal with the fall-out. Annie was talking about killing herself after one particularly bad morning of it.
It's hard. Kristy is hurting so much, and the only way she knows how to deal with her feelings is how she was taught by her family, she hurts others. She's doing a great job with Annie and Cindy, and they are hurting now too. We are working on getting her a more involved counselor, one who will return our calls and communicate with us so they know what's going on in her life and what she needs help with. I've never been a real religious person, but I pray for her. There's something about her that snagged my heart from the first day, and even with all the trouble she gives us, I want to see her get better. I don't want to see my other girls spiral because of her, but I can't give up on her, that's all anyone else has done in her life, and I see potential in her. If you're the praying type, send one up for her, it couldn't hurt. If you're not, just think happy thoughts for her, that couldn't hurt either.
Thanks for reading!
So I've had some trouble at home. Kristy is no longer allowed to be alone with Annie or Cindy in any room of the house, or outside playing. She says things to them that are horrible, and I don't know what exactly, just that I have to deal with the fall-out. Annie was talking about killing herself after one particularly bad morning of it.
It's hard. Kristy is hurting so much, and the only way she knows how to deal with her feelings is how she was taught by her family, she hurts others. She's doing a great job with Annie and Cindy, and they are hurting now too. We are working on getting her a more involved counselor, one who will return our calls and communicate with us so they know what's going on in her life and what she needs help with. I've never been a real religious person, but I pray for her. There's something about her that snagged my heart from the first day, and even with all the trouble she gives us, I want to see her get better. I don't want to see my other girls spiral because of her, but I can't give up on her, that's all anyone else has done in her life, and I see potential in her. If you're the praying type, send one up for her, it couldn't hurt. If you're not, just think happy thoughts for her, that couldn't hurt either.
Thanks for reading!
Monday, July 02, 2007
I Got An Award!!
Look at this, I got an award. This is so cool, I'm very flattered. I think I am supposed to pick 5 others to give this to now. Sue at Life In the Urban Zoo nominated me!!
Christine at Mommy Matters,
Emily at Peanut Tales,
Laura at The Kidlet Chronicles,
Sarah at Sarah and the Goon Squad,
Stacie at Mom's Busy, Take a Number
Enjoy them!!
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