To Quote My 3-Year-Old

"OK, OK, JEEZ!"

I'm back to continue my story. Is anyone out there reading it? I guess, at the very least, this has been very therapeutic for me. So where were we...Annie just came back. Imagine this, she's three...she left eight months earlier...really, before that, she'd only lived with us for four months. I thought there was no way she'd ever remember us. But when they brought her home, she ran into my mom's arms (I was at work) and lay her head on my mom's shoulder and stayed there for 20 minutes. The case worker was in tears. Annie was home, where she belonged. Granny then brought her to me at work, and she did the same thing with me. I was in tears, my friends and co-workers were in tears. Kneesaa was bawling. Stacie had tears in her eyes. Even Allee, who had never met Annie, was in tears. My baby girl was home. I don't even know how to convey what that feels like because most people don't go through this, their child leaving for good, then unexpectedly coming back, all at the age of three. I always felt like Annie was supposed to be mine, she had so many traits that reminded me of me at a young age. When they took her away, I was genuinely shocked, and my mind and body couldn't fathom how they could take away a child who was so obviously meant to be with me. So when she came home, I knew she was meant to be with me forever.

Now, Health and Welfare was looking at this in an entirely different light. There's this called the Adoptions and Safe Families Act designed to keep kids from hanging around in foster care for years and years with no sense of permanence. I'll try to explain how this works...when a child comes into foster care, basically, a clock starts ticking. When that child has been in care for 15 of the last 22 months the buzzer goes off, the court and Department of Health and Welfare are supposed to seek a permanent placement for that child, which often means terminating parental rights so the child can be adopted. In fact, they are only supposed to forgo termination if they have a compelling reason not to terminate.

When Annie was in my care the first time, the buzzer had gone off, and it was time to terminate. Part of that termination was posting in the newspapers to inform the father, who had been unattainable the whole time she'd been in care, so he had a fair shot to fight termination. Unexpectedly, he finally came forward after not coming forward for nearly two years. Because he suddenly came forward, he had an opportunity to work a case plan and get her back. She went to live with him under protective supervision, and when he showed that he also could not protect her and care for her, and he endangered her life, she came back to us. But she had been with him just long enough, we had to reset the clock, and wait another 15 months to start the termination process again. Basically, what this did was put her chance for permanence off for two more years.

So 15 months later, when she was five years old, a termination hearing was scheduled. The dad was terminated immediately for abandonment. The mom was fighting it. And she fought hard. Even though she hadn't worked her case plan, and after the things she did to Annie when Annie was only a toddler, just over a year old, this woman was fighting, and expecting apologies and such. It actually came down to the fact that it had been so long, and the case so drug out, the ADA and H&W were starting to feel like she would win her case. I was in denial. There was no way this woman could get my Annie after what she did. Then, a year later, after several court dates, and months of anguish, termination was granted. Annie was now six. However, the birth parent has 42 days to appeal, and she did.

The appeal was worse than the termination. There were no court dates, only silence. Basically, the case file goes to another judge who reviews it and makes a ruling. Sounds simple enough. But appeals for termination cases don't seem to take priority over...well...ANYTHING! Every month I would ask our case worker, have you heard anything? Every month she'd tell me no. She actually started to get defensive with me about it after a while. When we'd been waiting over a year (Annie was then 7) I asked one day, and this is what she said. "Our judge is very busy. He's handling the case where that guy cut off his wife's head." Now, I'm not cold hearted or uncaring about others, but this was my response, "She's dead, she can wait. That just happened, and we've been waiting over a year to go on with our lives. How is her death a priority over a little girl's future?" That didn't go over very well, and the case worker ended her visit about then.

Well, here we are, October 2006. Annie will be 8 in two and a half months. She's been in foster care since she was 18 months old. Last month we finally got a ruling on the appeal...it was in our favor. We've been holding our breath for 34 days now, hoping birth mom doesn't appeal. We have 8 more days. If we get through the next week with no appeal, I finally get to adopt her, and bring some closure to all this. She needs this, wants this, and is now worried something else will happen to crush her dream. She only really knows me as her mom. I've been there for her since she can remember. She knows about her other mom, and who she is, but she also knows what her other mom did to her, and that when the time is right, we will find her again, and she can ask her why and whatever else she wants to ask. But right now, my little girl needs to be safe and secure, and know that this home is for sure and legally her forever home.

Now I realize that I skipped ahead to give you the details of Annie's wait in foster care, but I think it works. Next time I'll go back to when she came home and give you more about what was happening within the Angel Retreat. Thanks for continuing to read on.

Tune in again to read tales about the adventures from the Angel Retreat.

Donations to fund the needs and activities for the angels who live with us are always welcome.