Haven't Been Writing Much Lately

Sorry I've Been so Brief

I decided since I'll be out a while now, I should write something more than begging for donations! (But don't let that stop you from donating, those kids deserve a great Christmas!) So I had to think about this a little, what did I want to write? I thought about continuing the story, but decided, instead, to talk about an issue we're having in the Angel Retreat right now.

As most of you know, I am adopting 7-year-old Annie. She's been with me since she was 2, and really, I'm the only mom she's ever known. I also have a girl, 10-year-old, let's call her Cindy, who I am not adopting. She's been with me for a year, and it looks like they are going to terminate her mom's rights. Now, am I saying adoption is completely out of the question? No. But right now it looks unlikely. Let's look at it this way, she's 10, almost 11. By the time they get termination, she'd be 12 at least, then they have the appeal process, and now we're looking at 13 or 14. She and her mom have a pretty strong bond, and she's never going to want to sever that. If a child is 12 or older, they have to agree to be adopted, or it won't happen. She will be 14 years old by the time any kind of adoption could happen, and she'll never agree to end her relationship with her mom. She's better off to stay with us in long-term foster care, continue to have visitation with her mom facilitated by Health & Welfare, or Casey Family Programs if we can get her into that, and not have to lose her mom completely.

But right now, Cindy is 10, and she doesn't understand any of this. So here's the issue. She feels left out because Annie is being adopted and she's not. I tried to explain to her that she has her mom like Annie has me, so Annie isn't getting anything more than her. I tried to explain that Annie will never see her birth mom again like she gets to see her mom, and that's why she has me like she does. But she really doesn't get it. She just sees Annie getting something special, and she wants it too. And the way she's dealing with it is to tell Annie ghost stories at night, and tell her things that will scare her on the way to school. This is frustrating, Cindy knows Annie has nightmares, and is afraid of the dark and being alone, and wants to scare her because she feels left out. What more do I do? At what point do I discipline? I know why she's doing it, I can't make her understand something she doesn't get, and I can't get her to quit scaring Annie. Any suggestions?

Remember to give to the kids, donate here!!!

P.S. Referring back to the first paragraph of this post, I'm having surgery tomorrow. Because it is impossible for me to have children of my own, and because I have endometriosis which is causing me scruciating pain, I'm having a complete hysterectomy. I won't be on a computer for the next week, so I won't be able to lose any Battle of the Blogs for a while. Wish me luck!