Let's Not Forget...

Who Came and Left During Annie's Time!

So I told you a brief telling of the first time we had Annie. But there were others during that time...well, one other. The last mention of the teenagers was when Emily left and Beth came in. Beth was a sweet, tuff girl. She was probably gang affiliated, but she wanted to be loved. We loved her. Not to say the other girls did. I think they felt threatened by Beth's tuff exterior. Here we had Kneesaa, who was sweet and squishy...girlie, and wanting to turn her life around. We had Stacie, who was tom-boyish, and quiet, and wanting to go home, and then we had Beth, who was tuff, and pretty, and tuff, and didn't want to go anywhere.

Beth doted over Annie. Called her her baby girl. It's funny to watch the kids when they come in and see who they bond with, attach too, or align with. She chose the 2 year old. But she also enjoyed the banter with my mom and I. She was just kind of fun to have around. It's too bad she and the other girls didn't hit it off. She got back at them for not liking her by stealing, and wearing, their underwear. Kind of odd, different, but funny too.

She only lived with us for a month. And after she left, we didn't have anyone come or go for two months. Then came Kilee. Kilee left a lasting impression on our lives, like a tattoo...sometimes it's fun to look at, sometimes you wish you could get it off. This girl had some serious mental issues, and nobody thought she'd stick around as long as she did. H&W figured she'd run from our house, then they could put her in detention. But she didn't run. In fact, she was the first kid to call me mom.

From day one she infiltrated our lives...wow, someone wants to call me mom. Up to then, the kids had all called me by my name. It felt different, nice. She was clingy. This was new too. And she asked for help with homework, advice on clothes, snuggled with us to watch movies. None of the teens to this point had gotten this close...in any sense. Of course, Kneesaa and Stacie, ever in competition for whatever they thought they were missing, began to get closer too. Kneesaa more than Stacie. Suddenly, we were having so much fun with these teens. I starting to think this was my calling. I became an advocate for teens in the foster care system, fighting for better programs for them, and educating other foster parents on the need for caring homes for them. Besides Annie, my world was high school, and make-up, and boys, and clothes.

Christmas was a blast. My first Christmas as a mom, and it was everything I wanted it to be. The kids embraced the traditions of my family, and we made some of our own. We went caroling in our neighborhood, we dressed up as angels and took a family Christmas picture for our greeting cards. It was truly magical.

Then, of course, in January Annie left. And right after that, Kilee became a different person. She suddenly hated us. She was mad all the time. Then we found out that she'd sent a letter to her judge telling a bunch of lies about us. She told him we made her eat moldy left-overs, and that we put pubic hair in her food. This was the part about foster care I hadn't been prepared for.

Kids who grow up in abusive or neglectful situations learn skills most of us don't have. They lose the ability to truly love anyone new in their life, and to survive without love, they learn to be the best liars and manipulators you've ever met. The good times with Kilee were all an act. She was pretending. And when she was tired of it, she tried to hurt us. And she really had no emotion about it at all. She just wanted to move on, and it didn't matter who she hurt in the process, because she didn't care about anyone. (Not even herself.) And so Kilee left.

But she left that lasting impression. I can look back to the fun we had and smile, and I can also look back to the hurt she caused and cry. When I hear her favorite song on the radio, I sing, snarl, my skin crawls, and my heart aches. Every time...to this day, that song turns me into a tied up mess of knots. It's because I loved her, and part of me still does. And I still advocate for teens in foster care!

Tune in again to read tales about the adventures from the Angel Retreat.

Donations to fund the needs and activities for the angels who live with us are always welcome.