Now, Where Were We?

That's Right, Teenagers...

So there I was, caring for two teenage girls who were a born when I was 15 and 16 years old. All I could think was, when I was 15 and 16, I definitely did NOT want kids. In fact, at that time I was torturing my mom by telling her I would never give her grandchildren. I wasn't actually trying to be cruel, I just didn't think I would ever want them.

I digress...ok, here we were, and I had to get them registered for High School. Wow, I went from changing diapers to registering kids in high school in 6 short months. I wasn't quite ready for that. I didn't even know these girls very well yet, let alone how to interact with their species. (Yes, I've determined that teenagerdom is a seperate species which most of us, though not all of us, evolve from.) Then, just a day before I was set to go on my annual trip to Reno with my best friend Angel, we got a call, they needed us to take another 14 year old girl. Good grief!

Of course we took her. I introduced myself, and left my mom to get her settled. It's not that I didn't want to get to know her before I left, but she came late at night, and we flew out the next day.

Angel and I had a great time in Reno. We won enough money on slots to have a pamper day...we both got perms. Then we returned home. My new teen, I'll call her Stacie, was not quite like the others. She wasn't girlie. In fact, I think most of her clothes were boys clothes. She was also very quiet, and stayed that way. I really didn't know how to talk to her. (I begged God for help at this point!)

But in the true nature of the ups and downs of foster care, Stacie barley had time to get to know everyone when Emily was moved to a relative in another town. And later that afternoon, another 13 year old girl came, we'll call her Beth. We hardly had time to catch our breath! We had two of the girls living in one bedroom, and Stacie had her own big bedroom, and we were all strangers.

Then, God answered my prayer, we got some training. The department sent us a letter telling us there was a training round starting in September. We signed up, desparate for information and resources. By this time, we felt like we were entertainment counselors on a deserted island where abused teen girls kept washing up on shore. I was beginning to wonder where all the other foster parents were out there. So we went to the training. It was good in that we got some information about resources for the kids, and we met some other foster parents (who were also relatively new) and I finally got to meet face to face with some of the social workers I'd only spoken with over the phone. But something we noticed pretty quickly was that not all foster parents across the state were getting the same training. Each region of the state was responsible for developing their own training curriculum. Unfortunately for us, that might mean we got only region specific information, or we might have missed some information that is given in other regions. So if you moved from one region to another, you might have to take the training all over because it was different. Why does this matter? Well, because if I were to move 15 miles away to the next town, I'd be in a different region. The community I live in incudes about 10 towns, 2 counties, and 2 seperate regions, all very close knit.

Six years ago, foster parent training and networking were in the dark ages. It was like cave times. Who knew if the world was flat or round because we didn't know others existed (other foster parents that is). I have to say, in the time I've been in this, it's changed a lot. Most states now prescribe to a foster and adoptive parent training curriculum called PRIDE. Also, most states now have a yearly foster parent training conference. In Idaho, it's split in three sessions and held in southern, central, and northern parts of the state. Much of our training is coordinated through the Idaho Child Welfare Training Center.

When I think back to that first summer/fall that I was doing foster care, and how little I knew, and how few people in the foster care community I knew, I can't believe we stuck with it! Now, I know a large number of the foster parents in the area, and even from across the state from attending trainings, and conferences. This is definitely not something you can do well if you are not getting involved!!

Tune in again to read tales about the adventures from the Angel Retreat.

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